Sometimes I feel like I want to cry, but the tears won't come. Maybe it's not that the tears won't come, but that something in me won't let myself break down. Am I so afraid of knowing myself, of being vulnerable, that I won't allow myself the needed and healthy release of tears? Sometimes that's the way it feels.
Sometimes I go months and months with out crying.
But then sometimes I go months and months when tears seem to swell up randomly and frequently. At those times the littlest thing, such as song or a voice, allow me to break down my wall of resistance and the tears pour forth.
At those times it's hard to stop crying.
I'm in a dry spell now. I want to cry, to let go. But I can't.
I'm reminded of the video on Sesame Street featuring the song, "It's All Right to Cry." I don't even remember how old I was when I first saw that clip, but it certainly made an impression on me. To this day that clip brings me solace, and in some strange way the "OK" I need to let my guard down and shed a tear.
Let's see if it still works...
Yep, here they come.
Remember, it's always all right to cry.
I'm proud of you!
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