Hello internet.
Last spring I floundered. I was deeply unhappy with where I was at school, plus I was going through some difficult self realizations and bouts of depression.
This fall I went to Copenhagen, where I was the happiest I've been, perhaps ever. Honestly, I felt like there was a huge weight lifted off my shoudlers. I bridged that gap within myself and successfully broke down the wall I had constructed around myself and within myself.
Now I've returned to Richmond. I'm happy. I'm hopeful. I'm excited. It's a new semester and I hope that I'll keep that wall demolished. I hope that I don't go back to the way I was. Because honestly I like the person I am.
In a way I became the person I always was in Copenhagen. I became or at least finally felt comfortable as just being myself. I know that sounds trite, but it's true. Whether it's because I was finally living among a society of students who just "got" me, or because I was in a country where I just "got" the people, their attitudes towards life, politics, and humanity. Or perhaps it was because I finally had enough physical distance between me and my home. And maybe, it was a combination of all those, and the fact that I went through a lot of soul searching last spring and summer. Only God knows.
But regardless of why and how, I'm glad. I'm glad that I'm me. I'm glad that I've finally started to forgive myself, forgive others, and find peace of mind like I haven't in quite sometime.
I can't wait to see how this comes out in my art work! I think briding my own personal wall has helped me eliminate that barrier that has for so long been preventing me from being truely creative. I guess I really just had to be myself, had to embrace myself, and have confidence in myself. I'm just briming with ideas while in the past I struggled to find anything. It's like my creativity was being drowned out by my worry and my lack of belief that I had anything really valid to say.
We'll see what the future holds. I'll post some work when I make some. :) For now, go in peace!
T.T.F.N.
Elizabeth
