It's all right to cry...

Sometimes I feel like I want to cry, but the tears won't come. Maybe it's not that the tears won't come, but that something in me won't let myself break down. Am I so afraid of knowing myself, of being vulnerable, that I won't allow myself the needed and healthy release of tears? Sometimes that's the way it feels.

Sometimes I go months and months with out crying.

But then sometimes I go months and months when tears seem to swell up randomly and frequently. At those times the littlest thing, such as song or a voice, allow me to break down my wall of resistance and the tears pour forth.

At those times it's hard to stop crying.

I'm in a dry spell now. I want to cry, to let go. But I can't.

I'm reminded of the video on Sesame Street featuring the song, "It's All Right to Cry." I don't even remember how old I was when I first saw that clip, but it certainly made an impression on me. To this day that clip brings me solace, and in some strange way the "OK" I need to let my guard down and shed a tear.

Let's see if it still works...



Yep, here they come.

Remember, it's always all right to cry.

New Projects

So tonight I took an old painting and painted a new portrait over it. It's not finished yet, but I thought I'd take a photo of the progress. Here it is in two copies:

I'm also working on finishing writing some thank you notes. To make the task more enjoyable I've made custom cards using color aid paper, plain paper, mylar, ink, marker, and embroidery. Here are some examples:

Lack of Commitment

Here's something I really need to work on... staying committed to projects.

Like my mother, I think I tend to pick up projects and then just as quickly forget about them, such as this blog. I have not been as committed to this project as I thought I would be. I even bookmarked it so that I would be reminded of its existence every time I open Safari. Nevertheless I forget. I slack off, and in the process I think I only hurt myself.

Instead of being done with projects and feeling free to move on to something else I hold myself back by making myself worry about the multitude of unfinished projects.

I don't want to feel held back by anything, least of all myself.

I should work on that.